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| I'm going home tonight!! |
This post might seem random, incidental or meaningless to some but I know those of you that know me will appreciate it and maybe it will bring some joy to you as well as others who are reading this. So I wanted my first blog post, other than my 'introduction', to be something special and different. But nothing's come to me all week, not since that first post on Monday. So rather than push it or try too hard, I figured I'd give it some more time and just see if something came to me rather than me think of something. It seemed like the universe was listening, and it came to me today :)
All week, the one thing I've been looking forward to most is today (Friday) because it's payday!! I have had many unexpected medical expenses over the last year and while I am by no means 'poor', I also live pay check to pay check (no savings, etc.). And honestly, I am not complaining. I am a very spiritual (not religious) person and I just feel like somehow, someway things will work out; even though I don't yet know how or when. But on my good days, I am at peace with just knowing that they will. That isn't to say I don't struggle, worry about additional unexpected expenses and feel so far away from the goals/dreams (i.e. my book, non-profit and climbing trips I mentioned in my first post and will definitely talk more about as my blog evolves) I believe are part of what I'm meant to do. But I am also grateful to have a job and an income.
Last night UPS came to my door to deliver a package. Normally they come before I get home from work and I have to go to my leasing office to pick it up, but they came when I was home. I was definitely curious because I wasn't expecting any packages but I answered the door and signed for it anyway. I didn't really look at the shipping label and opened the package. I opened it as much out of curiosity than on the off chance that I was getting an unexpected, but pleasant, surprise (i.e. a gift, etc. even though I knew that was a long shot). No such luck. Upon opening the mystery package, I discovered a brand new pair of Nike Air Jordan Flight 45 shoes. That is when I looked at the shipping label and noticed my exact correct address, apt. # and all, which I've been at for just over 8 years. The only problem is that it had a name on it that I had never heard of, it wasn't anyone I know or have ever known. There also wasn't a shipping list, invoice or receipt and no return address on the shipping label other than Bel-Mar Shopping Center, Lakewood, CO.
I just wanted to get them to their rightful owner, so without anything to go on, I brought them to work with me and went to the closest UPS Store on my lunch hour. I thought they could figure it out, thinking they would have more information to go on in their system than what I had. The guy at the store was very nice but said without a complete return address and no invoice, etc., there really wasn't much they could do. Even if I wanted to pay to return it, which I gladly would have done, there was no specific return address information to go on. He said at this point they were technically mine. But I think he could tell I was disappointed and that I was really trying to get them back where they belonged, so he suggested I talk to my leasing office in the chance that it was someone in my complex and maybe the apt. # or street address itself (there is actually more than one street address in my complex) was incorrect but they would know who it was or could look up the name on the shipping label if it was in fact a resident.
So on my way back to work, I stopped by the leasing office and talked with the manager. Fortunately, she recognized the name right away and said: "Yeah, that is so and so's son" and gave me their apt. #. They are actually in my same building, just further up. I was not able to bring the shoes to them on my lunch hour because I had to get back to work but I am planning on stopping by when I get home. I don't care what anyone may think of this, including any naysayers, but that made my day. I was so excited I was able to find out where they belonged and even more excited to bring them back myself. I've looked forward to being able to 'return' the shoes to this young man all day. It actually hit me that I'm looking forward to that more than getting paid. I am just that type of person.
I also don't care if people think I'm posting this to make myself look good because I'm not and anyone that knows me also knows that's not why I'm posting it. I wanted to officially start my blog with, and it was as if I was waiting for because I haven't been able to think of anything all week, something out of the ordinary. It might sound strange, but it didn't necessarily have to be 'big', just meaningful and I would know, or feel it, when it happened. Well today was that day. Again, it may seem simple to some, because yes, it's the right thing to do, that is the kind of person I am, and I would want someone to do it for me. But the best part of it for me is how it made my day and hopefully someone else's.
I have endured extensive trauma and loss for most of my life and I think that is a big part of the reason it makes me so happy to help people; in both big and small ways. I also like the idea of doing something good, however small, with everything going on in the world; and that is how I try to live my life. The timing might actually be even more poignant than it would normally be in light of yesterdays news of the Malaysian Airlines tragedy. Returning a pair of shoes to it's rightful owner might seem small compared to that, and in a more literal way it is, but that isn't the point I'm trying to make. With what happened yesterday and all that is going on in the world and people's individual lives, every little bit of good and kindness counts. Not only does it 'count', but it can go farther and might be bigger than we first think. When people hurt, whether it's on a large, global scale or individually for various reasons (like myself and others like me), that hurt is not 'small' to them. No one's hurt is small, just different and unique. Returning the shoes won't bring back those that perished or ease the grief of family and friends. It's not meant to, it's just meant to be a small but meaningful way I can put some good back into the world. So even though a small or random act of kindness can't solve a tragedy halfway across the world doesn't mean that act isn't important or needed. That tragedy across the world, and all the others like it, are all the reasons in the world that every act of kindness is important and needed. And that is exactly my point as well as why I am returning them and why I it made my day.
Think about it, if we all just did what we could to help someone or do something good, all those good deeds, however small they might seem, could add up to a lot of good. And I believe there is a cumulative affect, one good and kind act can inspire someone to 'pay it forward' and it goes on from there. Especially with technology and social media, those good and kind deeds can multiply even more (i.e. when things go 'viral',etc). And that is another reason I wanted to post this. Yes, it made my day and became something I looked forward to even more than getting paid but by posting it, I hope to encourage more people to just be open to the 'little', everyday ways we can help one another. You never know, what may seem small to you or someone else might be huge to whoever you are helping.
As I was writing this, I even thought back to this week, a very difficult week and thought of something else. It too may seem small and in some ways it is, but I am an animal and and nature lover. There seem to be many more baby rabbits around the grassy areas of my apartment complex this summer. I love watching them, especially when they are little. On Wednesday, I saw in the parking lot a few cars down what had to be a recently killed little baby bunny. I don't know how it died, a car or predator, but it just broke my heart. I hate it when I see that. I know there is the cycle of life, etc., but that doesn't mean I don't hurt when I see that. The cycle of life, natural causes, a predator, etc. is one thing but I know some people go way too fast through the parking lot. When it is human caused and unnecessary, or even intentional, that is even more upsetting to me.
So I moved it out of the parking lot under a bush and went work. That night thinking of it just sitting out in the heat and rain really made me sad, so I thought about burying it under a nearby tree. The next day, Thursday, I buried it under the tree before going to work. Again, that may seem like a small act, and even gross and unnecessary, to some and everyone is entitled to their opinion. But I'm glad I did it and I would do it again.
One of the items on my list of topics I plan on blogging about included creating a non-profit. That dream, which I know somehow, someway will be realized (and I hope sooner rather than later) comes from that same desire within to help those that are hurting. I am not sure when I will share specifics about my trauma and loss, but I will at some point on this blog as well as in my book, just not on this post. But in the meantime, this post seemed to lend itself to at least bringing up that part of me. Again, it comes from the same place within that makes me so excited to return the shoes. The general idea of the non-profit is to help other adults in their healing process who have been through the same things as me by giving them a chance to climb a peak or complete a backpacking trip. The idea is that it will be one more tool in their arsenal by helping them actually experience how strong they are and can be when they may not feel like or believe they are strong. There will definitely be more to come on this because bringing together the things I am most passionate about (mountain climbing, outdoor adventure, helping others, and my spirituality), as well as using my story and what I've learned, to realize this dream is huge for me and part of what I believe I'm meant to do.
None of us can save the world, there will always be conflict, pain, tragedy and trauma. After all, as humans, one of our greatest gifts is free will. It is up to us how to use it. If you are reading this, I encourage you to use it for good. Not all people do and that will probably never change. But if enough of us do choose to use it for good, then maybe, just maybe the world will be a better place and less people will have to struggle through their hurt alone. One of my favorite quotes speaks to this: "Harmony isn't freedom from the storm, but peace amidst the storm". That peace starts with each one of us and the choices we make. Another quote I like says: "Peace is not the absence of conflict but the resolution of conflict". Again, choosing to come together to work through our conflicts in a non-violent way is a choice that starts within each one of us.
I have to leave work now to go return the shoes :) I can't wait!!!!
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